I want my BTO house asap...........BTO,BTO,BTO...........i really sick and tired of staying at Boon Lay.......i hate here...hate to lanyan those irritating F***er man.......see their face so fed up and no mood some more here is a dirty and unhygienic place.......hope time flies more even faster.....................BTO 4 room flat...............wait for me.............!!!!!

Finally tomorrow Balaclava last day at Suntec and darling next Monday going to KPO work loh...yesterday darling told me somethings but i can't stated here because nobody know about it at all and i hope he can be success in few years time for his hard work....

Few more days to Friday Party times..i can't wait man...Zaidi coming to see Reyna and fetch me go together...then Saturday going Novena eat with Papa Nan they all at Magic Wok restaurant....then Sunday i going KKH to check up my stomach problem...then go touch up my eyebrow for the 2nd time if nothing bad happen to me when checking up time(=

I pray hard that nothings serious happen to me because after do some research and i realize that those serious case symptoms i did have it)=

Yesterday went to Papa Nan house and visit him and Auntie Alicia...we went Toa payoh hub and jalan2...and buy clothes for Reyna home wear...after that we went a coffee shop and ate chinese rojak and indian mutton soup...wow...cheap and nice man..haha...

When we at Papa Nan house and we chat about buying BTO house and darling and mi plan to buy this type of house because the facilities do exactly like condo and i already saw the display of the house design and the house very big and got balcony and don't need to renovate all that because BTO house everything has been done...woohoo...so we plan 1 or 2 years times,we go apply for it....haha....some more now HDB got scheme for married youngster which is 1st timer got so many benefit and discount..hmm...i feel happy that darling also agree that and he told me he don't plan stay here for so long some more in future buy house so difficult so he plan once stable,will go apply for it...(=

Maybe 1 months later i can start to work part time because Auntie Alicia say she can help me look after Reyna and some more she got Khalisa to play and accompany her...haha...i'm so happy that i can help darling relieve his burden and stress loh..and we plan to pay Auntie Alicia per month for taking care of Reyna and we plan every 2 days bring her back home so that she won't feel we don't want her all that....

Soon i guess give us few more years,our life is stable and won't be suffer because we have suffer for so long and i believe that ALLAH know what we have been through and ALLAH have been helping us all the way in whatever we do...(=

Finally today woke up and we have feel better after ate the medicine...we have fight win against the germs...i realize now Singapore air is totally not clean and outside also not hygiene at all....so this sunday i prepare to go get vitamins and scotts fish oil for Reyna to eat..so that she will stay healthy and happier...

Darling went to work and i feel so boring man...but next week thursday he gonna start morning loh and end at evening times...i like it this way because he can get to spend times with us..and he going KPO work on another Monday so i wish him all the best and i know he sacrifice his nap just to work morning shift to accompany us at home when he's back from work...(=

Kinda feel like take a nap...yawnzzzzzzz...............)=

Today i'm feeling damn sick and weak man...some more rain the whole day until i feeling so cold and keep sneezing....i eaten so many times medicine but never see got any effect man...i think my sickness very serious man...

Finally Reyna feeling better abit but i dare not so close to her because i scare i will pass back the sickness to her sia...haix...stress man...no strength to take care of her but i have to struggle and keep entertain her man...sad!!!!Poor lil Reyna must be feeling very lonely and boring with me at home...due to sick never bring her go out and cook nice food for her at all.

I damn angry darling because he only know how to go work and never keep call me and check how is we...some more he also sick too...wah...sucks man...i feeling so fed up when staying alone independent without families because nobody can help you if anythings happen to you...haix....now i also stress my future man...i thinking wanna take up course for my diploma cert like katherine does so that i can find a job that i like and with a high pay...but i don't want darling stress to pay for my school fees because it costs more than few thousand and i hope i can faster go work and have a good company to subsidies for me and i can use my pay to pay for my school fees but i wonder i can study with my whole heart anot because i'm no longer single so hard to fix my times all that and i have to find times to accompany Reyna too...hmm...gonna think and plan everything through out ....

Hope ALLAH and guide and help me....(=

Today bring Reyna to see doctor due to her flu,cough...and i also being infected by her man...sad...just now 11pm,kat,sab and leshia came and visit me and reyna...for gathering...hahaha...so long never see...felt so happy when they come...we ate and chatted with laughter...which make our gathering more fun and shiok...Once they went back i feel so boring again but i don't want them feel tired after a day of working day..so let them went home and rest also cause leshia feel damn tired liao so we shall meet another day...maybe next week...haha...hope they will go club with me...haha

HI GUYS,I HAVE A CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE HAVE OPEN A BLOGSHOP AT THIS LINK http://www.vomia.blogspot.com/ .PRICE REASONABLE,NICE CLOTHING SO DO CHECK IT OUT AND GIVE YOUR SUPPORT AND OF COURSE DO HELP TO SPREAD AROUND ABOUT THIS BLOGSHOP...HEHE...NEW STOCKS WILL BECOMING SO ONCE ARRIVE,I WILL UPDATE MY SPACE BLOG AND LET YOU GUYS SEE...(=

Today kinda feel so mood swing due to bored at home...and kenny kinda kena scold by me when he chat with me in the msg and make me dwell out the pasts....eee....geram seh...i now quite fickle minded man...i scare supperclub zaidi they all can't go in man...i don't wanna go zouk because boring man...and zirca not fun....haix...in that case i shall go Rebel or else later supperclub they can't go in then sure throw face man...hmm...stress up..

Now i also having slightly flu due to Reyna pass to me...wah...can't stand it man...so irritated sia...feel like throwing my temper ar....sometimes feel that darling don't care about me at all....he only know how to work and let me fully take care of Reyna even when i'm sick....haix...robot also will spoil so don't say is a human lor...sianx....

Just now at Facebook found Samuel profile and get contact back...so long never get to see liao since 5 or 6 years ago man...haha....finally slowly found back my old friends...haha....(=

Today wake up at 4 plus in the afternoon....wow..it's been so long never sleep until so late loh...faster go bath and we went to Jurong Point eat and buy things...haha....finally darling bought a pair of VANS shoes for himself...quite expensive but as long as he like then it's alright man...then i bought anothe belt again for now the trend and 2 pair of shoes to match my clothings...i never expect my shoes is over 20 plus pair man...haha...price quite unreasonable but i can afford so why don't i buy it...haha...and we bought 1 original Adidas ball for Reyna at Royal Sport House...so nice and damn pain when kena hit man...haha....

Reach home and feel my blood is low again so felt so giddy...so faster take my medicine again..or else getting more and more worst...haha...i wonder when can i stop feeling all the shits man....haix...i really can't wait for 2nd July to come and go club with yul they all man....oh...SUPPERCLUB......I'M COMING............HAHAHAHHA

Today Zaidi and Zul came my house and meet me and darling....our reunion day man...and after that we went to Bugis eat and shopping without darling because he have to go to work..haha...i just now bought 2 clothes again and a belt...woohoo....happy man...and met Yuyul at her working place....and we chit chat awhile and took photo together...Zaidi today very good to help me man...he help me carry Reyna until she fall asleep at his arms....haha....so long never meet due to he went in RTC and now he's out and he have change to be so mature....I can't wait to meet them for clubbing in 2 weeks time...yeepee....we are going to PARTY.........like the pasts man....OUR HAPPENING TIMES!!!!!!Words can't express how happy am i.........(=

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         Linkin Park
           Shadow Of The Day
           
I close both locks below the window
I close both blinds and turn away

Sometimes solutions aren't so simple
Sometimes good bye's the only away

[Chorus]
And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey

And the sun will set for you
[End Chorus]

In cards and flowers on your window
Your friends all plead for you to stay

Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple
Sometimes good bye's the only way

[Chorus]
And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey

And the sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey

And the sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day

Will embrace the world in grey

And the sun will set for you
[End Chorus]

Yesterday i was damn fed up man...i saw what Azzim send darling the damn msg and i did not sleep peacefully at all due to my temperature keep boiling about the damn msg....i never seem such a ill bred person that he did wrong and still act like he damn innocent man so i text in in this evening and scolded him and somemore he can text me back FUCK U MAN,KISS MY ASS!!!DAMN IT MAN...how i wish i can slap his damn mother fucker face....but when i told darling what i scolded him and he did not scold me at all because i did no wrong at all....i really pity darling got such a damn and horrible brother man...i told him that since he treat us this way,in future got problem better don't come and find us....

I swear and curse him that he will kena double of the retribution back for the way he have treated us...i sure wait for the timing come and fall on him...i can't wait to see he in a terrible state time...i wanna see how long you can react so big shot and yaya papaya.......the age 21 but still react so childish...abit2 scold vulgar towards people...don't know his damn fucking mind only think of girl is it!!!!He don't deserve our best....but just prepare for the worst....when he went down pass darling back the tattoo machine and he dare not tell darling about it because i told him that even he go complain to darling or his mother about it but they can't do anything and they won't scold me too because i'm saying the facts and truth so i even scare of anybody....

If i want to scare of things happen,i will not even think of the ideas to text and scold him...if i can see his damn mother fucker face,he sure kena jia lat by him because i still not shiok yet...he keep hide like a tortoise so hard to get him but 1 day i will go up and find him because darling also wanna settle things with him...if he fight with darling,i make sure the history back to now again and beat him too...i will not see darling fight with anybody....if he think i am those weak girls then he really underestimate me man.........if i can ask darling totally sever the ties with him then more good man...........CURSE HIM,CURSE HIM TILL I DIE.......I WILL MAKE HIS LIFE DIFFICULT IF I GET THE CHANCE...MAYBE HE THOUGHT HIS LIFE NOW EASY FOR HIM,NO PROBLEM ALL THAT THEN HIS NIGHTMARE COMING SOON........AND END HIS DREAMZ........i will never forgive this type of bastard for the rest of my life....i will never let him get near to Reyna or else Reyna will learn all the bad things from him.........

Yesterday night feel boring so bring Reyna down to Balaclava and fetch darling from work and we headed to Makasutra and eat...after eating we we went to slack at the side and let Reyna view the scenarios of the Marina Bay...she love it alot...haha...i guess she also feel boring at home man...poor little girl...i promise i will bring you go out often,okiex?

Haha...today i did my shiseido masks and my another korean pore tightening and dead cell remover mask and a eyes collagen masks for dark circles,improve eyes elastics and against fine lines and anti aging...haha....now girls must know how to maintain their complexion because now girls are too lazy and don't get bother with their skins even though they are still young but they are wrong...because if girls don't start to keep their skin healthy...soon they will have freckles and alot of problem...because i have seen people that are younger than me but they already have freckles but i don't have at all..so girls...please love your skin and start doing all the things that you have to....(=

Today i feeling damn moody...give my mother hang my damn Fucking phone then i become this way for the whole day man...haix....i wonder what her damn brain thinking man...somemore she getting more and more like to nag when she saw my brother and me buy our own branded stuffs...damn full of shits man...i try to control myself to keep quiet or else i sure blow out my temper and quarrel with her!!!

After that my brother bring us to eat seafood and coporation road...hmm...not bad and end up i having diarrhea man...haha....maybe my stomach not very good since this morning..all of sudden i miss someone...how i wish i can see his face now and hug him but i know this is impossible...sad!!!Because i know we can never be together back again....if in the past,we never broke off due to some people then i guess we can last together quite long...but now i'm still missing the memories being with him and the way he care for me when i'm sick at hospital...*sweet smilez*

I getting more and more feeling irritated towards darling...hmm..i don't know how long i can tahan.....

Eminem : Love the Way You Lie Lyrics

[Chorus - Rihanna]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear my cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie
Love the way you lie

[Verse 1 - Eminem]
I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe
I can't breathe but I still fight all I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight

High off on love, drunk from my hate
It's like I'm huffin' paint and I love it
The more I suffer, I suffocate
Right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates
Me, she fuckin' hates me, and I love it, Wait!
Where you going? I'm leaving you.
No you ain't. Come back. We're running right back

Here we go again, it's so insane
Cuz when it's going good, it's going great
I'm Superman with the wind in his back
She's lois lane and it's bad, it's awful
I feel so ashamed, I snap "Who's that dude?"
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on him, I never stood so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

[Chorus - Rihanna]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear my cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

[Verse 2 - Eminem]
You ever love somebody so much,
you could barely breathe when you with 'em?
You meet, and neither one of you even know it hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling, yeah them chills you still get 'em
Now you gettin' fuckin' sick of lookin' at 'em
You swore you'd never hit 'em, never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face spewing venom in your words when you spit 'em
You push, pull each other's hair, scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down, pin 'em, so lost in the moments when you're with 'em

Mr .(?). is the culprit ..(?)..
Shawty say, you'd best to go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya cuz today,
That was yesterday, yesterday is over and it's a different day
Sound like broken records playing over
But you promised her, next time you'd show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no nitendo game, but you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that's why they call it "window pane"

[Chorus - Rihanna]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear my cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

[Verse 3 - Eminem]
Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same team
But your temper's just as bad as mine is
You're the same as me
When it comes to love you're just as blinded

Baby please come back, it wasn't you. Baby it was me.
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens when a tonrado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much, to walk away now
Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk?
I told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the drywall
Next time? There won't be no next time
I apologize, even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games, I just want her back. I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fuckin' leave again,
Ima tie her to the bed and set this house on fire
Just gonna

[Chorus - Rihanna]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear my cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I'm back from NUH after doing my body check up....at first don't wanna go but feeling so giddy and stomachache again so no choice have to went there and realize that my white blood cell having some problem and i'm having infection after done my urine test...sad....but lucky not a damn big problem but next week i have to bring my doctor ref letter to the polyclinic and check my urine test again...i quite worry about my white blood cell because this is not a small issue man...hope i can get well soon lor....


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Yesterday night chat with darling about the issue about Azzim and i realize that he was damn angry when he heard what his mother have told us...i don't understand why Azzim keep giving people problem and love to make people angry about his full of craps stuffs...if i have Azzim this type of brother,i think i will kill him man...but now is the things i'm concern is darling say wanna find a day and fuck him but if both of them talk it out no use then they will end up fight man...but of course i won't stand there and see free show man...but this Azzim really a trouble maker man...and i poor thing darling that he is the elder son so he can't treat it like nothing but to solve the problem for his mother...i heard from darling and his mother that he really change alot and now become like their uncle Aziz like to talk big and alot of stuffs....its llike he don't have the things or not his but he will react like he have or own it....wahahaha...i really wish i can point my middle finger at him man...i really look down on this type of bastard


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Yesterday forgotten to update my blog again...so i do it one shot for today de...yesterday went to Bugis with Monster and Reyna for my shopping spree...haha...i bought all my stuffs from head to toe...due to not happy so i used shopping to forget my unhappiness lorx..i bought a faded blue jacket and pants after that a pair of slip on shoes and my facial product from KOSE....

And today i went to MUSTAFA at 9 plus in the night and bring mamat and with darling and Reyna after that met up with my mother in law...haha...we bought a Queen size Hush puppies bed sheet and a mirror for the toliet and bought some other stuffs too...after darling long decide and he want to buy a new 32 inch LCD tv....haha...some more is my favorite brand Samsung man...haha...after a 1 hour plus long walk and we went Sakuthala and eat....i ate alot of food...one big pot of fish head curry and a egg prata with rice too...i can't believe i eat so much...woohoo....somemore the whole day i eat curry man...haha...sound funny right??

After that get to know that alot of stuffs about AZZIM..........phew talk about him make me damn look down on him man...he now like to talk big and push blame to people when is his wrong...WTF...i never seen such a person before man...say about his Iphone...not he buy de...is his friend found de and sell him then he at Facebook talk big and say he bought it...sux man...he this type of guys need girlfriend to support him,can really go and die man...throw face ar...XIAO BAI LIAN....somemore he can tell mamat that he quarrel with me but he never say that i will scold him is all his fault lor...somemore he like auntie like that want to spread around all the things...haha....make me damn feel like wanna FUCK him like hell man...even his own mother also say he like to talk big all that...haha...can't believe it right....k la...i just say abit at here la...if wanna know then i will say the continue stories...haha

Today don't really feel like blogging because keep on repeat and repeat what's happening in my life..i feel so boring............so boring until tired man...i wanna go for shopping again.............my body feel so itchy if i don't buy what i want.....i really having not enough rest recently after back to Singapore...i keep unable to sleep properly and peacefully..and keep woke up every 2 or 3 hours...and the last is wake up in the afternoon 1pm...wah...cannot stand it man...don't know how to do..

Today i make a dream...guess what...i dream i pregnant and the feeling was so real that i can't forget about it..i wonder is it true that old people say if you keep dream you have a child or pregnant then it will come true????*laughs*but sometime cannot don't believe what old people say man...hmm..i wish i can have another child now or else i guess i will stop having another child loh...cause after i 25 years old i don't plan to giving birth anymore...cause i scare i will become FAT forever...

How i wish now i can go CLUBBING...............WOOHOO....



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Today is a damn tiring day for me...i wake up in morning 9 plus in the morning and meet my mother and go ICA building to apply somethings and when the person saw my IC and she don't believe the IC photo is me...wah seh...i talk to her damn long until she trust me and lucky that i got bring my birth cert man...i think i really gonna change my IC liao...but for nothing have to pay $60 for it ar...if FOC i don't need to think and straight go do loh...

When i reached home already 1 plus in the afternoon liao...and damn it is my LCD take go service again...if this time like that we take and throw loh..and this Sunday we going to survey new TV loh...yeepee...i know darling cannot tahan that's why he want to buy new TV loh...I can't wait for new tv man...

I feel so boring man..i wanna go shopping....no shopping i will die man....eeeeeee...geram siax...i want to get a pair of new shoes again and buy some more tops and a pants again...haha...i wonder who can accompany shopping man...hehe

Finally today back to home..so shag after woke up for 3 days in the morning 9 plus in the morning...went back with my mother and Reyna end up full of anger and regret...when i went back on the Sunday and one of my auntie keep talk bad about me and darling and i was so fed up that we went back happily and she find trouble with me and my mother...i think she really got no people to say anymore so she finding fault with us and i can't tahan what she have said and i scolded her back that if she like to say me this and that then in future i will not go back and visit them anymore and she answer me back that with or without me around makes no different...wah...damn it man...somemore she is the one who keep asking my mother to pester me back...i also fed up with my mother too because she also will give some comment that she don't know at all and infront all my aunties and make my water face drop by saying my hair extension not nice and ask me to go take off and i scolded her back that it's my money so don't give so much comment la...

I remember that few years back i went back also encounter the similar things happen too...i quarrel with the same auntie too...and she will always say that why i chose boyfriend not rich and this and that...and same goes to now and i said to her back that husband and my life is i chose so nobody got any right to comment about my life included my parents but in fact my parents never comment about my husband this and that lorx...1500+ per month not enough meh????FUCK IT la...if change to malaysia money already 4000+ k...at least my husband never let us starve and lack of stuffs leh...but she and her husband leh????Divorce already and maybe she jealous people lorx...and maybe her attitude really got a damn big problem lor...to her,she can say people but when people say her back then she will fed up....but she goes tell her friend that SOME PEOPLE can't tahan people say....wah...what kind of damn minded and logic she have man...she is the one and she push blame on me and my mother when my mother FUCK her that she only know how to say people but why don't she do some soul searching about herself lor....damn it...and this few days we went out or at home also never talk and go out with her at all...

I did called back and tell darling about all the things and he was so fed up because whenever i come back,he sure heard that she finding trouble with me and talk bad about people..if darling got go back with me then she sure quarrel with him lor...she always want to act like people scare of her all that lor...haa...she still don't know darling temper at all la...but i can swear that i will never go back anymore...i don't wish to see her face anymore...i don't understand that i can get along with others a few of my auntie but only she i can't man...even my father also know i FUCK her like hell before when i 17 years old....i may be a mother now but don't try my temper if i never do anythings wrong because once i blow out then nobody can cool me down...only darling...

I really disappointed on them man...i will never go back anymore la...i hope my grandmother will understand...i don't belong there...because of the thinking is different....hope the rest of my aunties i will see them in singapore when they are free or else i guess never get a chance loh..just now when take car back to singapore i also quarrel with the driver...a damn auntie ar...want to act like she very familiar with singapore road and i fuck her like hell lor..i stay Boon Lay and of course i know which way more nearer what somemore i mostly take cab to go and she want to act like she stay singapore damn long and do this and that...arh...want talk big also no need so over what....buay tahan ar...somemore keep gossip about people stuffs....wah...can't stand her ar....hope she kena bang by car when go back malaysia ar...idiot old lady...!!!Damn Sway ar...never have a good day at there and back time.... stress up..

Today went to Town with darling and Reyna...wow...have a wonderful dinner and shopping spree man...we went to Wistma and eat teppanyaki...yumyum...so long never eat liao...somemore damn spicy man...finally i have change my compact loh...and i bought a mineral highlighter and lipstick limited Edition from MAC Takashimaya Outlet..haha...i can say that i am truly their supporter man...all my make up products use their brand...keke...(=

Then i went to Burberry shop and find my coin pouch but.....sad to know that out of stocks man for all outlet..so i have wait for until Great Singapore Sales finish then sure got the stocks come again...arh....same goes to Reyna Burberry clothing man...i realize those typical Kiasu Singaporean damn irritating lor when comes to SALES in all places...they sure first person n grab for the stuffs in the starting first day...damn shit...then i went to Fendi shop and don't have the design i like too...then i went to Gucci shop and the people queue damn long sia....so damn Kiasu so i don't want to join the damn freaking queue ar...after that i went to Clarins and buy my sunscreen for my face...

Out from Takashimaya,we went to Heeren and get darling clothing then walk to 313 the outlet Forever21 to get my clothing...haha...and so goes to darling bought at 313 one of the shop to get his clothing again and lastly i feel hungry and went to the food republic and eat my tom yam soup...wow...damn nice man...and it worth for the queue that i waited for so long....and then we took cab back home and rest because reyna tired loh....and i'm back home to do my laundry and pack my stuffs for my malaysia trip tomorrow...(=

Today went to Jurong Point with Monster,Wan and Yuyun...they accompany me to Singapore Post to collect my parcel that i purchased online and shopping Reyna's belated birthday present...haha...when we at the shop that sell children clothes and while i was choosing the clothes and yuyun saw they want to hire people and she ask the person that end up they want to hire housewife which know small kids stuffs....haha...damn funny man...they got stated at the paper but she never saw at all...hahaha....too bad today they haven't get the money or else we plan go eat together at the kopitiam for mini steamboat man....

Haix...so boring at home everyday man...at first Cuiyu ask me to go Town with her,her hubby and her baby boy but Boon Lay rain so difficult to bring small kid go out when its a raining day...somemore tomorrow i also going Town with darling to buy my stuff and exchange my compact at MAC outlet at Takashimaya...k la...wanna go rest....log out...

Today have a terrible stomachache again...this is the 3rd time liao and the pain getting more and more worst than each time before...until my body shiver and with cold sweat...haix...i reali very scare that after i go hospital check up and the result will be a shocking news to me...i have never been this way until the time i abort my 2nd child...i wonder if that time i never abort then all this things will not happen and my baby boy already going 1 years old too...i feel very guilty towards my 2nd child even though i have abort him for 1 year plus liao...maybe now all this pain is he given to me for abandon him for being selfish towards him...until now i still can't forget about him although his face haven't form to human at all...i can still remember the scanning time i saw his heartbeat inside my stomach...a little tiny life...so wonderful....but too bad.....................

I don't know now he still around by my side looking after me or he already at heaven but i still wanted to tell him that baby boy...you will always be my child although i can't give birth you to this world...i never forgotten you at all...i always think about you but...i can never bring you back to life...if i can turn back the time,i swear i never listen to your papa to abort you...i swear no matter how tough my life is,i still will give you and reyna jie2 a good life even though i can't get my branded stuffs all that...!!!Mama really regret for what i have done...truly regret for my whole life...although my face never express out but whenever people talk about you,why i abort you?and i will stop my words and keep quiet because i know if i continue say,i sure will cry out....

I also hope you won't blame your papa too because that time reyna jie2 still small and your papa still NS and he don't want both of you suffer so he got no choice but to abort you...at first i don't allow and never try to understand why he wanna do that but after that i know that he really can't afford for the hospital fees and all the other things because he don't want people to help him at all so got no choice....i know he also feel bad but he can't show out too....or else he will start to feel stress all that...but i hope ALLAH will let me pregnant again and let you come back to our family again....(= because i know your face is same as your papa....so cute and handsome...before you born out,i already dream your face liao...(=

Finally went to ICA and collect Reyna passport....4 more days i'm leaving Singapore for few days...hmm...finally can take a short break to relax myself...haha...gonna go shopping and food spree after reach Malaysia man....

Today after 12 is Reyna birthday....haha...2 years old man...big girl already...i haven't get her birthday present yet because never went to Town this few days so i have to wait for this saturday then i can go Burberry shop and get her present loh...somemore also can my Burberry stuff too...haha..happy man...

Just now my father send me back home and we go buy seafood come back to my house and eat...so nice and the prawn damn big....woohoo...wonderful...

Tomorrow Yuyul coming to see Reyna...i can't wait man...because it's been a long time i never get to see her and tomorrow is Zaidi release day out from RTC..finally he has make it through the tough days inside...hope he learn from his lesson and never ever went back again...and soon is Jack release day too....can't wait to see them....