nervous...

Tomorrow meeting BK for training at Eunos for our this month Saturday and Sunday work..quite nervous because still not use to it going to start work..but hopefully I can perform well at work!!! I already plan what to do after get my pay...I will bring my whole families to Marina Square Pariis International Buffet and have a great feasts and after that going shopping and do my hair again...haha!!After this month finish the work,I guess in future BK will intro me more part time job...haha...if don't have for the timing being,I will find my friends to work at her place because my parents house quite near there so I can send Reyna for them take care first!!GD PLAN..AWAITING A GD IN FUTURE!!ALLAH,has been helping me all the while and I believe in him and hope he will bless me more!!!haha!!

ambition & goals

Today using phone to blog..I hate it as can't load photo at all...this Friday going back home take back my lappy and use. Yesterday chat with BK for 1 hour plus and she intro me work part time with her for this whole month weekend,as we can earn extra income for ourselves..and we plan to start out a small business with don't need to fork out alot of money and it's a Fashion business too...we also plan after this year ended then we can go BKK for our stocks..Luckily she knows all the stuffs all that or else hard to start out a business!! I'm happy got a friends like her as she is a mother and mature and of course we have similar thinking too...and hope she feeling the same way as me...hope our friendship will last long...this friday gonna meet her for the work training...so jia you for us and our goal!!!And I wish she and zayne will always stay happy!!(:

My dream Wedding & Evening Gown

Today all of sudden i feel like wanting to get married again...i wish i can feel the happiness again...my darling agree me that i gave him a idea to make a Wedding ceremony again on our 10 years anniversary...so i still got 6 years to go man....but i have already thinking wanted to do like Victoriana Styles...very nice and look so alike as Fairy Tales...i got this SCV because those Hollywood stars also did that too but they got abit different because they already 40-50 plus then did the ceremony again so i don't wish my skin and face look shaggy then did all this things as it is a memories to be keep beautiful...

But when think back my wedding is very happy,angry and joking day....haha...what a good joking day that i have but luckily all my guests love all the food and enjoy all the liquor and beer...and of course i receive alot of Angbao back...haha!!!The most funny is normally people only receive 1 time ring but i receive 2 time ring...sound funny...but the reason i won't say it out..ok...show you guys whats my dream gown for my next wedding ceremony in 10 years time...

Recently i find that i'm putting on weight and darling also feel it too but luckily is on my face but nt on my body and hips...haha...i still having the feeling wanted to vomit and nausea...just now mornig already vomit....haiz....i wonder what is actual going on to my body man....just now my father called and tell me don't need to buy laundry detergent liao because he going to pass me 2 carton to use...don't know how long can finish it man...i wonder who give him 4 carton laundry detergent man...somemore is the newly product...lol..

Today i feel better of my throat but now having slightly cough loh...sianx...4 more days to Hari Raya but i kinda don't like it at all....i don't plan to go people house for watever gathering all that because later will become a topics for them to gossip again!!!I also don't wish to see people face wearing mask around us and smiling..i know i am rude being this way but i rather people say,i also don't want to see people that i don't like at all...because it makes no differents,as i still move on with my life!!

I don't wish to become like one of them wearing mask and pretend like a good person so i rather don't appear more even better..next week sat going JB liao....i can't wait for it man....how i wish no Hari raya more better...hahaha!!!!Joking only...but i don't have any new year mood leh...

Life hasn't not imperfect or too perfect for me,i don't need the world to agree me,understand me,judge me and how the way they look at me..!Nobody is perfect in this world,if theres is then he/she is just wearing a mask..i may have a bad temper,bad attitude and bad tattoos but does not means my heart is bad.! I may react like shit or putting a nasty face infront of people but deep down my heart,do people know that i'm trying to protect myself?

I have encounted so many things happened in my life and i have learn to stand more even stronger than the pasts....even my marriage have encounted alot of shits before but do anybody know that i have been a hard time not to give up on everythings?Sometimes i may look strong in my outer looks but my heart are not..

Sometimes people will say that i trying to show off of my marriage is perfect and having a good husband never flirt around even though he work at club and get what i want,but deep down my heart i never thought want to show off at all...only people who knows me well,then they know and see with their own eyes!!ya..i don't need to work yet get all the stuffs i want and shoppping like nobody business but have people know that partly the money is mine instead i keep asking from my husband!!Why?I at home being macam like TAITAI then also give people say?Jealous or what?

Lastly,i don't need people to judge me and my husband,say us nasty stuff and poke about our life when anythings happen okiex?Only GOD can judge us...

Today woke up and feel my throat is better but i'm still feeling nausea and wanted to vomit again...i'm still kinda sleepy...for this whole month,i never feel having enough sleep at all...i slept for so long but the fatigue still go off!!

Next friday is Hari raya loh...so fast...i'm so excited to meet my friends for gathering on Thursday that is Hari raya eve...hope last minute won't have any changes lor...lol

Later my mum is leaving Singapore to Malaysia for 1 month,all cause of the ICA,it's a long stories but hope the MP can help us to get it asap....so fed up about their working attitude so slow!!!!PEK CHEK!!!!! I'm going to miss my mother cooking.....sad!!!!

Sick time

I'm still very sick...eat medicine so many times but no use at all..OMG...I have to cure asap or else nobody can help me take care of reyna because I don't wish to affect darling working attendance..the whole day I keep nausea and wanted to vomit...why am I suffering this way now..!!! I hate this sickly mood man...): if I'm pregnant then show me the symptom asap so I know how to handle my body man...T.T

Today blogging again...i guess i have to give up Iphone 4 liao...because if really pregnant then i have to spend alot of money on medical stuffs man,don't know issit pregnant again loh....recently keep on feel nausea and wanted to vomit...haiz..don't know really accurate anot...some more now sick too....argh....so irritated...how i wish really pregnant because i want a son....hahahaha!!!!!OH GOD,BLESS ME MAN!!!!

..............Finally update my blog again!!!!YEAH...........

Recently feel very shag after back from East Coast BBQ with KPO and Balaclava staffs...i have lots of fun and have alot of entertainment by those drunker China people...haha!!!

This few days i kinda feel that im being left out by my friends liao....sad!!!!!But luckily Katherine and Leshia got ask me to meet out with them at Ang Mo Kio Hub...now darling keep on work and same goes to my friends and i got nobody to chat at home when i'm bored...but i don't feel angry because they also got their own life and things to do...

That day after went back home from BBQ,darling told me alot of things about people around us...and now then i realized that they are wearing mask infront of me and him but behind our back they react different and talk behind our back...i wonder why some people around us RED EYES on us??Some how realized people are so free to bother about other people life instead of them adn they tend to think they are more money and suscess than us and look down on us..i really see through alot of things and people around me but some of my friends are really is true to us and friendship for so long liao...inner and outer also can know..hahaha!!!!I tried play Tarot and the card stated so clear and real to me that i have alot of FAKE friends around me and i will be betray by people....somehow make friends,i really scare man...haiz...hopefully GOD can guide me...(=

Recently i kinda feel i put on weight alot...my face can see alot but luckily my body never put on or else i cry like hell man...oh...happy that next week Hari Raya and after the next week going JB loh....hope nobody put me aeroplane man....because it's already been confirm...(=

I going to sell my phone to my father liao...because darling buying for me Iphone 4...sometimes i really pity him leh...although it's not buying like branded stuff but still feel bad that keep asking him buying things for me...i really feel guilty man....i wanna find a job work to lighter his burden...but hopefully he will allow....in my mind i got 2 job that i wish to try that is Beauty Advisor and Office Lady....but if next year if he let me work then our burden will be over because all the payment will be finish by next year April so there is nothing else to pay so can buy another new tv for our house....realize that work and work so must pamper ourself once awhile and decorate the house nice and cosy so when back to home,you won't feel going out anymore (=

OH GOD.........PLEASE LET ME WORK.....I MAY BE NOT RICH AND POOR BUT I WANT TO EARN MORE MONEY FOR MY LIL REYNA AND GIVE HER THE BEST EDUCATIONAL AND ENVIROMENT FOR HER AND OF COURSE TO REACH MY TARGET TO BUY A NEW HOUSE SOON AND LIVE HAPPILY...I HAVE GOOD AND BAD TIMES WHEN WITH DARLING BUT JUST THAT SOMETIMES I DON'T KNOW WHO TO TALK TO WHEN I'M DOWN...I DON'T WANT TO BE A BURDEN TO MY FRIENDS...(=